As a parent, one of the most difficult things you may have to do is tell your children that mom and dad are planning to divorce. It can be a real struggle for many couples to break this kind of news to their children, so if you feel dread at the prospect, you are not alone. Like with most difficult tasks, a little planning and preparation can go a long way.
Before you have the talk with your kids, it is vital that both of you carefully consider the when and the how. This will be your first test as single parents regarding how well you can keep the children as the focus without letting your feelings about your spouse get in the way. Read further for some tips to help you talk to your kids about divorce.
Before you sit your kids down for the talk, you need to make some preparations. You may want to meet with a child or family counselor to discuss the best way to deliver the news. Once you have an idea of how to approach the matter, work with your future ex-spouse on a script for the conversation. You should both be very clear on who will say what. Also, select a time and place where you can have the talk that will be free from outside stressors. For example, you will not want to squeeze in a five-minute conversation on the way to school.
Delivering the news
When it comes time to tell your children about the upcoming divorce, you should make every effort to focus on the positives. For example, let them know that you both love them very much and still want to spend as much time with them as possible. Also, be clear that the divorce is not their fault. Furthermore, do not blame the other parent for the split. In the end, leave enough time for tears and questions and be prepared to provide comfort.
If you are planning to divorce, it is important that you tell your children about it the right way. By following the tips above, you can break the news in a way that is healthy and less likely to leave your children feeling abandoned.