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A plan of action for Texas ex-spouse communications

Spouses who are open to negotiations, reasonable dialogue and compromise can reduce the tension level of a Fort Bend divorce. Unfortunately, one ex-spouse's effort to move through divorce sensibly often is not enough. Extreme emotional responses and reactions from the other ex-spouse add unwanted, unneeded stress.

Many divorced Texans realize that a "game face" is needed to deal with a former partner, especially when discussions concern money or a former couple's permanent common thread - children. From the time divorce litigation begins, a spouse must decide how to manage communications with an ex.

Experts say early co-parenting and communication patterns with a former spouse establish ground rules and boundaries. Relationship advisers suggest preparing an arsenal of noncombative responses, just in case interactions with an ex start to head downhill.

Redirection is a delay tactic that can be used when a former partner makes an excessive, direct demand. Turn the subject of splitting the cost of a child's cosmetic dentistry in a new direction, preferably one that offers a perk like extended holiday visitation for the ex-spouse. Tension is defused because both parties receive something positive.

A former spouse's irritating comments may be repetitious, but sometimes a line is crossed. Marital observers suggest informing an ex that the conversation is rescheduled because it cannot continue. Warn the offender that disconnection is next and hang up.

The most drastic suggestion is a temporary but total communications blackout. A warning precedes a statement that negotiations are at a standstill until the ex-spouse's behavior improves. Advisers offer no guarantees that an ex will comply.

Strategies to communicate with an ex-marriage partner are effective when planned in advance. When the problems are too serious to resolve as a former couple, it may be time to enlist the help of a third-party.

A Texas divorce attorney is capable of taking over important negotiations for a client when all other communication efforts have failed.

Source: huffingtonpost.com, "3 Tips For Dealing With An Unreasonable Ex," Marina Sbrochi, Feb. 23, 2013

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