Making plans to leave your spouse might have to be made in secret, but this is an important step to ensure your stability when you leave. If you have children, you have to think about how you can get ready for what is to come for them when the marriage ends.
The process of preparing for a divorce is intensive, but you should make sure that you take time to do this if you are afforded the opportunity. Not everyone who gets a divorce is able to prepare since divorce often blindsides people.
From a financial standpoint
Your finances play a significant part of your stability when you walk away. You need to have copies of the financial records from the marriage since this will come in handy when you are going through the property division process.
You also need to open a bank account of your own. You can start stashing money away to help you cover legal fees and other expense related to the divorce. This also enables you to transfer any direct deposits or automatic bill payments over which you need control.
It may be a good idea to apply for a credit card that is in your name only. There is a chance that your credit score will drop because of the divorce. Having an established line of credit can help during the divorce.
If you are worried that your soon-to-be ex might find out about the bank account, you can get a post office box to have your mail delivered there. This might be a good idea since you can have all of your personal correspondence sent there.
Preparing your children
You might not have to say anything to the children until the divorce is in process. Of course, you will have to tell them before you or the other parent moves out. Preparing the children for what is coming can help them to feel less stress. You and your ex need to discuss the new way of life with the children. This includes letting them know that both parents will remain active participants in each child’s life.
Make sure that you are only speaking for yourself during the process. You don’t want to say that your ex will do something because your kids might get upset with you if that doesn’t happen.
Another thing to do is make sure that you and your ex aren’t using the kids as messengers. Children need to be kids, which means they shouldn’t be privy to adult matters associated with the divorce. Along that same line, don’t slander your ex in front of the children. Your ex is still the child’s parent.