Family law attorneys know that few, if any, words used to describe divorce by Texas Gulf Coast spouses are positive. The responses to the end of a marriage are often the same whether a separation is by mutual agreement or initiated by one spouse.
People often wonder if there is any way around the negative aspects of divorce. Bitterness, confusion, hurt and stress are common. The knowledge that other divorcing spouses feel these emotions is helpful in a “misery loves company” way, but what can individuals do to help reduce the pain?
Divorce occurs when one or both spouses reach a breaking point. Sometimes marital damage can be repaired, but spouses often contemplate leaving marriage long before any formal move toward divorce is made. Contentment may have been part of the past, but it doesn’t exist in the present.
Many spouses in the throes of divorce have difficulty thinking about the future. The return to a happy state seems impossible but, in most cases, ex-spouses do recover. In fact, many former spouses thrive after learning to embrace a post-marital life.
The move forward leaves behind an unsatisfying relationship. Negative emotions are expected to be temporary. When feelings like resentment or anger are extreme or continue long after the divorce decree, spouses are urged to seek professional counseling.
Sometimes ex-partners build a good spouse-bad spouse wall. Pointing fingers about the downfall of a marriage is convenient and often encouraged by well-meaning family members and friends. Experts warn that creating an enemy is self-defeating and harms children caught between parents they love.
Once divorce is certain, counselors suggest taking a positive approach to the future. As hard as that sounds, forward thinking is preferable to wallowing in the past indefinitely.
Attorneys and financial counselors ease legal and economic tensions through separation and divorce. Health care professionals assist with short- or long-term emotional issues.
huffingtonpost.com, “Divorce Advice: How To Have A Happy Divorce” Lisa Kaplin, Jul. 22, 2013