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Tips for coping with divorce

Each year, many thousands of couples in Texas get married. Most do so believing that the marriage will last forever and a day, like in the fairy tales where they all lived happily after. In close to half of those marriages, however, the conclusion is ultimately divorce. Divorce can be a difficult and emotional time. But without minimizing that, there are a number of tips that can help the process go smoother, and minimize the difficulties.

First, it is important not to dwell on, and impulsively act on, purely negative emotions. What should be done is to act deliberately in a manner that is most productive of your own self-interest (and the interests of your children, of course, if you have any). Fear of change or anger/animosity toward your estranged spouse can spur you make decisions in haste that you may regret in leisure. You should seek what is best for yourself and to achieve those goals that are most important to you.

You should recognize that the processing of a divorce is just routine business for the court system, and that judicial proceedings are not the place to vent your emotions. In fact, doing so in this venue can be counterproductive. The judge cannot and will not rule on which of the two spouses was "right" in the argument between you, but only decide on the more objective issues of a fair division of property, spousal support, child custody, child support, visitation, etc.

You should rely especially on your attorney to guide you through the process. They have been through this before, many times, and know what to expect, and how to react if there are any problems. They know both the law and the practical issues that come up in the course of dividing one household into two, and can help fashion solutions. If you also need the assistance of other specialists, from accountants and financial advisers to counselors or therapists, don't hesitate to consult them, as they can also be beneficial.

Source: Huffington Post, "Gay Divorce Tips: 5 Ways To Make The Process Easier" Laura Miolla, Feb. 14, 2014

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